How to Adjust to Retirement Life
So you’re retiring! Congratulations! Now what? Just like with any other major life-altering event, it is difficult learning how to adjust to retirement life. It is quite an emotional process that retirees may not admit. This new life comes with stages of transitions. It’s something we working people look so forward to. Yet once you are in it, it certainly takes some time to wrap your head around this new life.
It takes time to adjust yourself mentally through these transitions. It’s similar to navigating the first stage of a new job, marriage, or a new baby. All life changes bring about significant change and uncertainty. It can be difficult developing new routines and struggling through a loss of structure in your days.
When you have defined yourself by your career for most of your life, this process isn’t the easiest. If you break the stages of retirement down into these 5 different phases, you can naturally work through the retirement transition. Knowing what to expect an ease the stress and create a meaningful and happy retirement life.
So what are the 5 Stages of Adjusting to Retirement Life?
1. Pre-Planning
Your first step is the five to ten years before you ever retire! Turn your focus to shifting your goals toward work achievements and personal savings. You must first be financially prepared to actually do so. You have to shift your mindset so that you can mentally adjust to the big changes that will take place in your life after you are no longer working.
Everyone is envious of retirees who have freedom from work responsibilities. It may sound like a dream, but can be very unsettling to your identity. Make sure you have some thoughts about how you will mentally prepare yourself. You will need to know how to fill your days once you are no longer working.
I retired from teaching so I met with retirement and financial advisors to help me select the best time to finish up my career and retire. While it was an exciting decision, it was extremely hard for me to pull the trigger and officially tell my colleagues that I had made the choice to retire at the end of that particular school year. Everything changes once you do! You may feel left out of work-related decisions at that point. This is weird and can give you a sense of both relief and also a feeling of being non relevant as well.
Just like moving from a home is emotional, it is the same when you move out of the classroom or office. You are saying good-bye to a significant part of your life. One that required 8-10 hours of your time daily. That includes saying good-bye to one of your social support systems as well. Be sure to throw a retirement party or say yes if your friends want to throw you a one close to your last day. This is will be something to look forward to and serves as sort of a rite of passage event.
2. The Honeymoon Period
The very first stage when adjusting to actual retirement life is called the Honeymoon Period. You have officially left your job or career and have the freedom to do whatever you want! It’s exciting to hang out with friends and family, travel & go on vacation, catch up on home projects, and spend time on some hobbies. I love not being bound by the daily schedule of having a job.
This first stage of freedom can last a few weeks or up to a few years. It feels so freeing, but unfortunately it does eventually wear off or gets mingled with the next phase.
It took me awhile to actually feel retired. I had always had summers off so when I retired in June, it was a summer without a deadline. It was a summer that actually lasted. My usual summer vacations from teaching were spent getting ready for the next school year!
Once the fall season hit, I went into my “official” retirement with a variety of goals. I wanted to be my best self. I would cook and eat healthy, get in shape, and learn some new things. Getting caught up with all of my doctor’s appointments and researching all the vitamins & supplements would set me up for a healthy lifestyle for a woman over 50. Learning to play pickleball allowed me to meet tons of new friends! I also loved Sunday nights and Monday mornings again!
I made a point to say “no” to the many requests of my time. Once you retire, everyone wants to sign you up for other commitments. I made a point to give myself at least a year before I became more committed. I enjoyed being able to accept breakfast or dinner invitations, plan & host gatherings with friends without stress, and and not be bound by all the structure. It was time to have time for myself.
3. Discontent and Doubt
When the reality of retirement sets in and the newness of the honeymoon phase starts to go away, there is a sense of discontentment that may appear. It is very normal to begin feeling bored, lonely, or irrelevant. The novelty of not having any place to go on a Monday morning has worn off, and you can start to feel depressed or empty. You can also start having doubts about your life and your purpose.
Feeling helpless during this stage makes it even more important to reach out to others. You should make sure you have regular commitments with friends, family and organizations that you can look forward to. Part of this stage is also adjusting to spending time by yourself.
I gave myself permission to not feel guilty for the gift of time and reflection. I spent time reading, listening to podcasts, and found the book, Miracle Mornings by Hal Elrod. It helped me start and get more out of each day. I joined a book club and learned to play Bridge. We even remodeled our house.
For me, the honeymoon period lasted awhile! I become quite busy and was happy getting caught up on household projects and chores. However, I did wonder what my purpose and calling was meant to be at this point.
I know we humans thrive on having a routine. I had routines my whole life, so I created a new routine and schedule for my days. This helped me refocus my energy and attention. I developed a routine for my mornings, joined a book club & Bridge class, joined regular coffee and dinner groups, and did all the planning for my husband & my vacations. I played pickleball with several regular groups throughout the week was also a way I stayed active and busy. Even thought I stayed busy, I reached a point where I knew my life couldn’t be all play and self reflection. I had to begin looking actively for even more out of this next chapter.
4. Focus and Realignment
With help and determination, you can navigate out of the sometimes melancholy days and set your life up with substance. This can be the hardest part of retirement. Discovering your new purpose and reinventing who you are in retirement can take a lot of time and conscious effort. It can be difficult and involve some soul searching and work, but once you figure this part out, you know you’re on the right track for achieving your retirement goals.
The great thing about retirement is that it is never too late. If it hasn’t happened, it’s an excellent time to try new things and discover what your purpose will be. It’s time to reinvent yourself and put your energy into new passions that are fulfilling and make you happy.
I was asked to join both a committee at church and a leadership group that met weekly. In this group we focused on spiritual growth and how to find our spiritual gifts. This threw me off of my church “sabattical”, but it seemed to be time for deeper things. The leadership group identified our spiritual gifts and how we could best serve the congregational needs of the church going forward to create a new vision. This was exactly what I needed to focus on, filling my need for serving others. That and my blog project are now keeping me busy with new challenges. I would say I am currently in this stage and it feels like I am on my way to balancing out my priorities.
5. Fulfilment and Balance
The very last stage of retirement adjustment is finding balance. It is important to find the feeling of being fulfilled in the stability you have created for yourself. You should feel positive about your retired life, and like you’re living your true purpose.
This will mean you’re in a settled routine and doing things that you love. You are overall just enjoying your life and feeling comfortable within your new sense of identity.
With retirement life still feeling like a relatively new experience, I would say I bounce around these phases a bit. I mostly love my retirement and know all my ambitions and dreams may not be achieved overnight. I am actively working on my routines and activities to create the best life possible.
